You Know You've Lived in China Too Long When...

当以下情况发生，你便知自己差不多是个中国人了……

41. When shopping at Carrefour some laowai stares you down for catching you looking into his basket while you wonder to yourself what laowai’s eat.
在家乐福买东西时，你看着某些老外的购物篮并惊讶于他们所吃的东西，而他们发现后对你怒目相向。
43. You have a pinky fingernail an inch long.
你有个一英寸长的指甲染成了粉红色。
45. You start to watch CCTV9 and feel warm and comforted by the governments great work.
你开始收看CCTV9并为政府的伟大政绩感动和欣慰。
48. When you are able to jump the queue because the idiot laowai left 2 centimeters between themselves and the person in front of them.
sb老外排队居然隔开两厘米，所以你可以轻松加塞儿。
49. You have absolutely no sense of traffic rules.
你对交通规则完全没有概念。
50. You start calling other foreigners Lao Wai.
你开始叫其他外国人作“老外”。
51. You start cutting off large vehicles on your bicycle.
你骑车时开始与大车争道。
53. You think no car is complete without a tissue box on the rear shelf and a feather duster in the trunk.
你觉得如果小车后窗里不放盒纸巾，后箱里不放把鸡毛掸子，那就不能算是部小车。
55. When looking out the window, you think “Wow, so many trees!” instead of “Wow, so much concrete!”
望窗外看时，你感叹“哇，真多树”而不是“哇，全是水泥”。
57. You think “white pills, blue pills, and pink powder” is an adequate answer to the question “What are you giving me, doctor?”
你觉得用“白药丸，蓝药丸还有红药粉”来回答“医生，你都给我开了些啥？”已经足够。
58. Someone doesn’t stare at you and you wonder why.
没人像看猴儿一样看你，你反而不习惯了。
59. Firecrackers don’t wake you up.
鞭炮声已经不妨碍你睡觉了。
61. You wear out your vehicle’s horn before its brakes.
你的车喇叭比刹车先用坏了。
63. Forks feel funny.
用叉子吃东西真搞笑。
64. Chinese remakes of Western songs sound better than the originals.
中国人翻唱西方歌曲，比原曲还棒。
66. You realize that smiling and nodding is Chinese body language for, “Go away; leave me alone.”
你意识到笑着点头在中国肢体语言里表示“滚，别烦我！”。
70. You think of “salad” as diced apples in mayonnaise
你觉得苹果切成丁和蛋黄酱里面就是色拉了。
73. Your handshake is weakening by the day.
你握手一天比一天更无力了。
74. You compiled a 3-page list of weird English first names that Chinese people of your acquaintance have chosen for themselves.
那些中国朋友们给自己选的奇怪英文名，你收集下来足足写了3页纸。
76. You and a friend get on a bus, sit at opposite ends of the bus, and continue your conversation by yelling from one end to the other.
你跟朋友坐公车，各坐一头还能大喊着保持交谈。
77. You cannot say a number without making the appropriate hand sign.
你不打手势就没法表达数字了。
78. You like the taste of Green Tea and Chivas.
你喜欢绿茶兑芝华士的味道。
79. You start recognizing the Chinese songs on the radio and sing along to them with the taxi driver.
坐的士时，你开始能够听出电台里的中文歌曲并跟着唱了。
80. You feel insulted when you enter a restaurant and only three waiters welcome you.
到家餐馆却只有三个服务生欢迎你，这简直是侮辱人。